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The importance of non-sexual touch in an intimate relationship

posted 20 Jul 2013, 21:38 by Suzi Wallis   [ updated 25 Jul 2013, 23:48 ]
What is it that makes your relationship with your partner different from just a friend or flatmate? Apart from (hopefully) trust, friendship, love, respect and kindness, the way you touch each other displays an intimacy that you may not share with other people in your life (at least not to the same extent). Sometimes you can see a couple who are comfortable together by the way they interact physically – a touch there, a quick hug or kiss as they pass each other in a social setting. Non-sexual touch (the kind that isn’t necessarily going to lead to lovemaking) can keep a couple feeling connected during their everyday lives.

Rather than getting ‘out of the way’ when you pass in the hall or kitchen, how about getting ‘in the way’ intentionally? It’s a great opportunity for a re-connect, flirt and can send a message that says ‘I’m glad I chose you.’ If you are watching tv together, sitting on the same couch, with legs draped over each other is far more intimate than separate chairs. If one is preparing dinner, having the other hanging out in the kitchen, passing items backwards and forwards will create a feeling of connectedness. There are plenty of opportunities for getting into the same physical space if you allow your mind to contemplate them.

The quality of hugs and kisses, especially during greetings and farewells can make the difference in your partner’s day. When you kiss your partner hello or goodbye, is it on the lips or cheek? Which one feels more intimate? Do you look in their eyes when you greet them or farewell them? When you hug your partner, do you ensure that you are connected from knees to chest? When you come home, do you greet the children or pets before your partner? Why? What is this modelling for your children and what message does this send to your partner about their importance to you? It’s perfectly ok to ask your children to wait and say you want to greet your partner (whether it be their Mum or Dad or someone else) first.

I hope you are able to find opportunities to solidify the foundation of your relationship through what you’ve read here.

Suzi Wallis | Nov 2011