What is grief?

• Grief is our natural, normal response to a loss of any kind.
• Altering our thinking to consider losses (rather than focussing solely on the event) is one of the first steps to understanding grief.
• There is never only one loss. There is the obvious or presenting loss of someone or something, and also our personal losses as the result of this.
• The significance of any loss can only be determined by the person who is experiencing that loss.
• The amount of grief experienced will usually equal the amount of significance we attach to that loss.
• The losses & subsequent grief of one person cannot be compared with the losses & grief of any other person – even when the losses appear to be of a similar nature.

Grief can be experienced through any change, even if it's one we have consciously chosen to make. Well known and accepted griefs include the loss of someone through death, loss of a significant relationship, loss of a home (or significant damage), being made redundant or being injured in an accident. Less recognised grief can come about through choosing to leave a relationship, loss of a pet, miscarriage, changing cities or schools, witnessing someone you care about experiencing a loss, or giving birth to a disabled child (as well as many griefs not mentioned here). All change can generate a grief process of some description that must be acknowledged to be moved through. I provide Grief Counselling for clients Auckland-wide at my Remuera offices.

Explaining grief counselling

Grief counselling with me is a process where the client can have support from a professional through their own individual grief journey. It is essential to talk about what you are going through - if you don't, you can get stuck in the process and feel like you're going crazy.

You may feel like you're being a burden on your family and friends - that may or may not be the case - however a professional therapist will be able to assist you with tools that will help you move through and find a way to live with what you have lost.

Seeing me can also assist you in normalising what you are going through as most symptoms are in the normal spectrum. Please be careful of using drugs and alcohol to manage your grief as this will only delay your processing and inhibit your ability to cope. Alcohol and many drugs are depressants and could make your grief worse.

Suzi's experience with grief counselling

I completed specialist grief training, along with my Diploma in Counselling and Family Therapy. I am experienced working with different types of grief and am familiar with the barriers that can prevent people from moving into a healthy place after a loss has occurred.

I welcome clients who are seeking help understanding their grief journey.

Seven well known stages of grief

(according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)*

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Depression/sadness
4. Guilt
5. Acceptance
6. Forgiveness
7. Recovery

* Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004) was a Swiss-born psychiatrist, a pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying (1969), where she first discussed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model.

Further information