LGBTQIA+ (Rainbow Community) Counselling
Contents
Suzi and this community
Counselling for this group of people is fast becoming a strong interest of mine. I am passionate about working with marginalised people, and those who may face judgement from other counselling or therapeutic services. As I move forward with my therapeutic practice, and see more clients from the LGBTQIA community, I develop a stronger understanding and compassion for what clients experience, and how to help.
The acronym at the top of this page, for those who don't know, stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual/aromantic, agender, and pansexual.
Hello from Suzi
To me, you are human first and foremost, and your gender or identity is secondary to your right to be treated with utmost respect. Having said that, you face some unique challenges that I can only imagine and empathise with (see my identity explanation below). I promise to work alongside you, and support you in what you are wanting to achieve. I will continue to grow my knowledge through research and talking to people who can help me understand what this community needs.
Please have a good look around this website to get a sense of me, and how I work. Clients who have done this report that my website gives them a pretty accurate impression of me.
I am actively working on increasing my experience with the transgender, questioning, intersex and agender community. I have extensive experience with same sex couples, and with gay clients.
I will work with your individual dynamics - whether that be monogamy, polyamory/ethical non monogamy, or some other arrangement. As long as you and your partner/s have overt agreements, our work together will align with your goals/wishes/dreams.
Celebrations and marriage/commitment equality
One day I would like to be trained and registered as a Celebrant. I will be delighted to support all couples with their celebrations, marriages and other events. In the meantime, there are some wonderful celebrants out there who are open minded, and supportive of the LGBTQIA community.
Definitions
I gathered most of these definitions from www.urbandictionary.com. As they are mostly from one website, they are a limited way to describe what each individual may be experiencing, or how they define themselves. Each person's experience of being in this world is unique, and I value what they bring to me in the counselling room.
Lesbian
A woman whose emotional, romantic, and sexual energies are geared towards other women.
Gay
Homosexual, especially homosexual males but can be used for lesbians as well. A person who is only attracted to members of the same sex.
Bisexual
Someone who is in all ways attracted to both guys and girls. It is not because they are sex fanatics, or simply can't decide. Being bisexual is not a phase from people who haven't fully come out yet. It is as real as being straight or gay. You might have a preference over one sex, but bisexual means you can be attracted to both genders sexually, physically, and emotionally. In other words, you are fully capable of falling in love with them, just as a woman would fall in love with a man. It's not a circus freak thing.
Transsexual
A transsexual is a person who was assigned one sex at birth (male or female) but who identifies their gender in what society considers the "opposite" direction. There are two general "types" of transsexual: Female-to-Male (FTM) and Male-to-Female (MTF). The former is a person labeled female at birth, but whose gender identity and/or expression lie in masculine or male direction. The latter is a person labeled male at birth, but whose gender identity and/or expression lie in the feminine or female direction.
From http://www.transawareness.org/what-is-the-difference-between-transgender-and-transsexual.html.
Sometimes transsexual is used to imply that a person has or desires to have some sort of gender affirmative surgery, while transgender is sometimes used as an umbrella term in the same way that trans* is used on this website. (Cooper, 112) Like many other words, the specific meanings transgender and transsexual vary with time, location, and the individual. Before assuming that someone uses any word to identify their gender, it is respectful to ask them which words they use to identify their gender.
Transgender
Someone who identifies as a gender other than what they were assigned at birth. Currently, if a baby is born with a vagina, they are assigned female at birth, or afab, and if they are born with a penis, they are assigned male at birth, or amab. Cisgender people identify with the sex they were assigned at birth, while transgender people don't.
Transgender is an umbrella term, containing men who are afab (trans men), women who are amab (trans women) and people assigned either sex that feel like both or neither genders (non-binary or genderqueer). Some trans people may take hormones or undergo surgery to make their body match their gender, and to treat dysphoria. Others are perfectly fine with their body, and only want minor or no changes. However, unless they feel comfortable discussing it with you, it is extremely rude and invasive to ask a trans person if they are on hormones or if they've had surgery yet.
Note that a trans person doesn't have to fit into any gender role. Much like cis men and women, a trans man can be feminine, while a trans woman can be masculine.
Queer
Originally pejorative for gay, now being reclaimed by some gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered persons as a self-affirming umbrella term. Caution: still extremely offensive when used as an epithet.
Questioning
to be unsure of or re-examining one's previously assumed sexual orientation or gender identity.
Intersex
A group of many conditions that cause people to be born in the middle of the spectrum from male to female. Gender development is controlled by male and female hormones androgens (testosterone) and estrogens in the womb. If there is a mix of the two it causes an intersex condition. Sex hormones cause the development of the genitals, the brain's gender functioning, and the brains "gender identity" behaviour. It also causes secondary sex characteristics during puberty. Intersex usually only refers to genital, puberty, sex chromosome (like xxyy, xy female, mosaic) differences. Surgery on intersex babies is considered mutilisation by many people including intersex people because they believe that they should have the right to decide when they reach adolescence. The chosen gender may also not match the "gender identity" that developed in the womb. Intersex is different from transgender. Transgender involves a mismatch between the gender that you feel like and your physical gender for any reason. An old word for intersex is hermaphrodite. The scientific word is DSD (disorders of sexual development or differences of sexual development).
Asexual/Aromantic
A person who is not interested in, or does not desire sexual activity, either within or outside of a relationship. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the willful decision to not act on sexual feelings. Asexuals, while not physically sexual-type folks, are none the less quite capable of loving, affectionate, romantic ties to others.
Pansexual
Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity.
Demigirl
A gender identity term for someone who was assigned female at birth, but does not fully identify with being a woman, socially or mentally.
Cisgender
An adjective for someone whose gender corresponds to their assigned sex.
Suzi's identity
My partner is a man, and I have been largely heterosexual my entire life. In this context, I would be described as cisgender. I continue to work at feeling comfortable in my female body. I believe in multiple lives, and have participated in past life regressions, where I have experienced life in male bodies as well. In my five sense dreams, I experience both female-like and male-like bodies.
Support and helplines with specific specialities for the rainbow community
Body Positive | support for those living with HIV
We offer support services for people living with HIV, helping to break down isolation and building a sense of community, while advocating on behalf of people living with HIV at a national level.
History
Body Positive Inc. was set up in response to the emergence of HIV in the early 1980s. As an independent and autonomous initiative started by HIV positive people it was different from other organisations in the field. Body Positive had, and maintains, the unique perspective of "knowing first hand" what it is like to live with the virus and the issues surrounding being HIV+. As such we are able to tailor our services accordingly.
Body Positive was officially incorporated in 1994 as New Zealand's only national HIV+ peer support organisation at that time. Since then it has been joined by Positive Women Inc.
Dunedin Pride
Kia ora! Nau mai, haere mai!
We're a volunteer-run organisation that's all about connecting and supporting Ōtepoti’s local takatāpui and rainbow community 🌈
To connect with Dunedin Pride, we invite you to join us at Pride Night, held on the last Friday of every month, from 4-7pm
Pride Night is always free, all ages and kai is provided for free too. It's family friendly and welcomes all our community and allies, young and old
We move around the city each month, so check our Instagram a week out to see where the next Pride Night event will be!
Gender Minorities Aotearoa
Gender Minorities Aotearoa is a nationwide transgender organisation in Aotearoa New Zealand. It is run by and for transgender people; including binary and non-binary, intersex, and irawhiti takatāpui.
GMA offers information, advocacy, and wrap around support for transgender people of all ages, ethnicities, and backgrounds.
The vision of Gender Minorities Aotearoa is for all transgender people to be empowered by a full range of choices across all aspects of their lives, and to be able to participate fully in society.
We operate within the kaupapa Māori public health framework Te Pae Māhutonga, and The Ottawa Charter (1986). Our focus is peer led health and well-being. We aim to facilitate health and well-being for transgender populations, as defined by The World Health Organisation – complete physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social well-being.
I'm Local | directory for youth to find resources across Aotearoa
The I’m Local Project aims to help queer & gender diverse youth all over Aotearoa to feel valued, recognised and supported in their local communities.
Kicked off in 2014 by RainbowYOUTH, the I’m Local project focuses on contacting high schools, medical centres, hospitals, libraries, marae and community centres in more rural or isolated area of Aotearoa and supplying them with free resources about gender and sexuality.
We also have an awesome region-by-region map of all the queer and gender diverse support groups for young people in Aotearoa. Pick your region and find your whānau!
InsideOUT
InsideOUT works to give rainbow young people in Aotearoa New Zealand a sense of safety and belonging in their schools and communities.
We are a national charity providing resources, information, workshops, consulting and support for anything concerning rainbow or LGBTQIA+ issues and education for schools, workplaces and community organisations.
Intersex Aotearoa
Intersex Aotearoa is an intersex-led non-profit organisation- our mission and vision is to create a safe and supportive society where intersex people are able to be visible and thrive!
Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a range of natural variations in the human body; specifically a persons sex characteristics. These variations are seen by medical circles as "atypical", or not the "norm".
There are about 40 different intersex variations known and representing about 2.3% of the population, so perhaps it is, in fact, pretty normal!
Sex characteristics can include everything from our hormones and chromosomes, to our internal and external anatomy. The variations of sex characteristics can be present at birth or may become evident in puberty or later in adulthood.
NZ Parents of Transgender Children
A parent-led group where you can find the information, guidance, advice and companionship to help you and your family safely and happily navigate your journey, knowing you are never alone.
We use ‘transgender’ and ‘gender diverse’ as umbrella terms representing people whose gender identity does not match their sex assigned at birth, acknowledging that some of our children, and people like them, may choose these terms, or others, to describe themselves. Some of our children are exploring their gender identity. We recognize a difference between this and gender expression – identity is about an inner sense of being, while expression focuses on outward appearances and perceptions.
Through our group we facilitate families’ access to good quality information, research, contacts for support services, and provide peer support. We also advocate for our families, and whanau, and our children where necessary, and we work to ensure that organisations that affect the lives of our children have policies that are affirming of their gender identity.
What unites us is a desire to do our best to support our children in their life journey, to support their natural development, and to ensure that their health, wellbeing, and quality of life are maximized.
https://www.transgenderchildren.nz/ | nzparentsoftransgenderchildren@gmail.com
OUTline NZ
OUTLine NZ provides a free and confidential telephone counselling service to support the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender & Takataapui community.
Answered by volunteers, leave a message if we can’t answer and we can call you back
Our volunteers welcome your call to discuss topics around sexuality, gender identity and diverse sex characteristics. They can help you find sources of trusted information, connection to community or peers, and medical or mental health services that welcome LGBTIQA+/Rainbow people.
All calls and callers are confidential and anonymous.
Calls are welcomed from LGBTIQA+/Rainbow people, friends and whānau, or professionals who care for them.
We also offer face-to-face counselling services by qualified counsellors in Auckland or Wellington, or via Skype. There is a cost to this service, but we can support you to apply to WINZ for these costs.
www.outline.org | ph 0800 802 437 | 6pm–9pm | our support line is answered by trained LGBTQIA+ volunteers. Leave a message if we can’t answer and we can call you back.
A specific resource for parents is at this link.
Positive Women | Supporting women and families/whānau living with HIV in Aotearoa New Zealand
Positive Women Inc. is a support organisation for women and families living with and affected by HIV. We also provide HIV awareness through educational programmes with a focus on the de-stigmatisation of HIV.
Qtopia | support for youth in Ōtautahi Christchurch & the wider Waitaha Canterbury area
Qtopia is an advocacy, social change, and social support service for the whole LGBTQIA+ rainbow community, based in Ōtautahi Christchurch, and working throughout Te Waipounamu the South Island.
Qtopia is the only organisation providing the level of work we do in Ōtautahi Christchurch and across Te Waipounamu. We specialise in social change and systems change. We work with complex contexts, reaching single-sex schools, faith-based communities, and communities affected by geographic isolation – supporting anyone trying to make a difference for our community.
Rainbow Fale | support for Pasifika youth
As Pasifika, we acknowledge that this term excludes our Pacific community of Fa’afafine (Samoan), Fakaleiti (Tongan), Whakawahine/Takatapui/Tangata ira tane (Maori), ‘Akava’ine (Cook Islands) Drodrolagi (Fijian) Mahu (Hawaiian) so we also use the term MVPFAFF+.
Rainbow Fale contributes to building supportive and safe environments for Pasifika rainbow young people. We equip and enable youth and young adults to achieve their goals; provide a platform for their voice, identify the issues and advocate for the elimination of stigma and discrimination.
Rainbow Fale programmes and initiatives include:
Mafutaga Leadership & Mentoring
Legends Leadership Group
Support Diversity Groups in High Schools
Lanu annual celebratory event
UMATA Peer Support Group
TEU Wardrobe
TEU Fashion
Rainbow Hub Waikato
A non-profit organisation that creates spaces and works alongside communities to embrace, celebrate, and support diversity and identity, where all people thrive and feel empowered to be themselves.
Rainbow Hub Waikato is a non-profit organisation that began as “Waikato Queer Youth” in 2005. We started as a small group of people passionate about supporting young people to have a community that affirms their identities.
In May 2021 we restructured our organisation to recognise and grow the support we provide for rainbow folks of all ages and Rainbow Hub Waikato was created to reflect our communities. Today we support people across the Waikato and are in an exciting period of growth as we establish and collaborate on new projects and services.
Enabled by a passionate group of employees, volunteers and community members, Rainbow Hub Waikato is focused on offering hope to people of all ages. We strive to empower spaces for people to celebrate who they are, through positive, identity-affirming community building, fun and friendships.
RainbowYOUTH | Help young queer & gender diverse people up to age 28
RainbowYOUTH is a charitable organisation that was established in 1989. RainbowYOUTH is here to work with queer, gender diverse and intersex youth as well as their wider communities to ensure that Aotearoa is a place where all young people can thrive.
At RainbowYOUTH, we’re about fostering safe, inclusive, accepting and diverse environments that are family friendly. We are drug, smoke and alcohol free.
Our motto is “know who you are, be who you are”. Tīwhanawhana Trust have gifted us a version of our motto in te reo Māori: “Whāia tō ake ngākaunui, i te pono, i te mārama”. Simply translated, it means: “follow your desires with truth and clarity”.
We provide information, referral, peer-support, education, professional development & a drop-in centre.
Get in touch | info@ry.org.nz | 09 376 4155 | www.ry.org.nz
Drop-in centre locations: Auckland, Tauranga, Taranaki
Our online chat support is available for any person in Aotearoa (aged 13-27) who is looking for guidance, support, or advice around sexuality, gender identity, and intersex status. You can chat to one of our support workers between 2-4pm Monday-Friday, anonymously & confidentially. More information is at this link.
We're stoked to be able to provide free counselling at the Auckland drop-in centre. We have two Counselling students available on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. To book in, email support@ry.org.nz or drop in when they're here to meet them!
RYViD | online peer support group
RYViD is an online peer support group dedicated to connecting young queer, gender diverse, takatāpui & intersex people across Aotearoa who physical groups aren’t an option for.
We welcome young people aged 13-18 to join us for a video chat every Friday from 5pm, where we’ll get to know each other, do fun accessible group activities, and support each other long-distance style!
More info on how to join the group here:https://ry.org.nz/online-support
24/7 Helpline | Safe to Talk | 0800 044 334
Prejudice and discrimination may mean some people are at higher risk of sexual assault and abuse.
This can be true for people who identify as, or are seen as, lesbian, gay, bisexual, takatāpui, transgender, queer, intersex, fa’afafine or asexual or people who don’t fit traditional definitions of male or female.
People causing harm could be partners, friends, family or whānau, acquaintances or strangers.
We understand that concerns about being “outed”, not believed, or made more vulnerable, can stop people seeking help.
Our specialists are non-judgemental and professional, and they can refer you to the most appropriate services for you. What you say will be confidential.
Safe Space Alliance
The Safe Space Alliance is a LGBTQI+ led nonprofit organisation that aims to help people identify, navigate, and create safe spaces for LGBTQI+ communities worldwide. Being part of the Safe Space Alliance is being part of a global and collaborative safe space community.
Social Groups through Rainbow Youth (up to age 28)
Our social groups are smoke, alcohol & drug free spaces where young people can connect with one another in a friendly, supportive and inclusive environment. Each of our groups are youth-led and hosted by trained facilitators. Our groups aren't just for “out” queer and gender diverse youth too - if you're unsure about your identity, this is just as much your space as it is ours!
Te Ngākau Kahukura
Our vision is for rainbow people to grow up feeling safe, valued and that they belong in the places where they live, learn and access healthcare and social support.
We work across a range of kaupapa and sectors to build understanding, embed rainbow-competent practice and grow the capacity of people who are making change.
Tīwhanawhana Trust | Wellington
Tīwhanawhana is a takatāpui community group based in Wellington that welcomes people of diverse sexualities and gender identity.
Māori are the indigenous people of Aōtearoa New Zealand. Takatāpui, in modern terminology is a Māori individual that identifies as Queer, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans.
The kaupapa or purpose of the group is primarily for takatapui; building its community, telling its stories and leaving a legacy that will inspire others.
Tīwhanawhana exists for the takatapui community and gives meaning to its kaupapa through different threads - Kapa Haka, Advice, Advocacy, Support of LGBTI Community.
Tīwhanawhana meets regularly on Monday evenings from 6.30pm at the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective, Level 4, 204 Willis St, Wellington.
For more more information about practices and upcoming events go to Facebook (see link top of page).
Suzi's experience
As at early November 2024, I have completed 11,617 hours working with clients. I began seeing clients in 2002. For more information on me, and the way I work, check out this page.