Poetry / Self Healing / Philosophy

Forgiveness - what does it really mean? Some think it condones what has been done, lets the other person/people off the hook. With this belief, can come great resistance.

Some think forgiveness is impossible, no matter how much time has passed, due to the depth of the betrayal or pain. Others find they have a choice. Living in the past and holding onto the feelings of past events feels stuck, and can prevent them from doing anything other than surviving. Forgiving disconnects them from a time that no longer serves them, and frees them to make different choices - to thrive, rather than survive, which some say is the best revenge.

Often the hardest person to forgive is ourselves - for making choices that contributed to the event, or being unable to prevent it. Self forgiveness in all areas is key - when we release ourselves from the prison of guilt, we get to shine again.

• To all those I have hurt or wronged over my life, I love you and ask for your forgiveness.

• To all those who have wished me harm, I love you and forgive you.

• To anyone still unsure about where to direct their pain, please direct it to source (whatever that means to you), so that it can be transformed into love.

• We are all doing our best with what we know, and can do better when we know better. That's why compassion for ourselves and others is vital to our species' survival on this planet.

• Sending love out to all who need it today, including myself

Suzi Wallis | Apr 2023

Suffering - we all have experiences of it on the spectrum of minor to intense. How does it affect our sense of empowerment? How does it affect our sense of self? Some people seem to find a purpose and a community in their ailment, others want nothing more than to manage it privately.

Those who share their suffering on social media seem to get sympathy and compassion, which can be helpful. The worst kind of response when someone has the courage to speak up, in any forum, is minimisation. This can come in the form of oneupmanship ("My situation is/was worse than yours") or "You'll be fine" or "It's no big deal". This can have a hugely detrimental effect, and create resistance to sharing again. Someone who appears positive most of the time may just have been burnt too many times, and no longer feels safe to share their burdens.

We are given an invitation when someone shares a burden. We can judge them, criticise them, tell them about our own similar experiences, or simply offer a space for compassion and listening. What most people need in a situation like this is to be heard, and a helping hand offered - no "shoulds" involved.

Tuck your wing in, little bird

The world is scary, but you are strong

You fly high, you inspire others to look up

And remember that better days are coming

When we connect with our flock

Our courage is magnified

The path is clear

The journey is a quest to return

Return to our true essence of love and compassion

I'll see you there

To that parts of you that were powerless, that paralysed you into survival mode, that couldn't fight back - they now need your love and acceptance. You survived, and that gave you the opportunity to be here still, to grow, to learn, to create the best revenge - thriving.

There is no need to feel shame or embarrassment for events in the past, where you had not control. The only way forward is with the wisdom on board that you gained, from the pain and processing of what you experienced. It's time to let yourself off the hook for not having the wisdom then, that you have now.

You deserve to live fully in this moment and the next. Go forth and shine.

We all march to the beat of our own drums, and yet we are also social animals. How do we trust our instincts, if they seem contrary to the experience of the majority? It's a true test of faith - to be different and to go against the tide. It involves tapping into a knowingness that isn't always visible or felt - it's an ancient wisdom that we carry over lifetimes. Some of it is ours, and some of it belongs to our ancestors. We can tap into all aspects if we know how.

This is where we may need to connect with others - so they can hold the space for us to explore and discover what we've known all along, We know what we truly need, what we deserve, what will honour us. We need to get out of our own way, and shine a light on the deepest parts of ourselves - those parts tell our truth, and love all of us - our wounds, imperfections and perceived weaknesses. Those parts hold us in a loving embrace, whisper in our darkest moments "You are love. You are light. Shine magnificent one." 

When we get out of our own way, and let our true essence shine through, we are unbreakable. Because our souls are connected to an unlimited source of love, and that will nourish us during our courageous quests.

Go forth magnificent ones. See you there.

She roars into the abyss

Hoping she will be heard

She roars into the crowed

Hoping she'll be seen

She roars into herself

Hoping her pain will be valid

The world doesn't notice

Their vision of her is without suffering

She is the glue that holds them all together

They cannot bear to acknowledge her vulnerability

For then they'd have to look inside

And see the reflection of their own truth

The truth of connection, of shared responsibility, of humanity

And if they truly acknowledge that

Their worlds would crumble

If they acknowledged that, they'd have to rebuild

And they are too tired

When their courage and energy align

She will be seen

The agony of waiting to heal, from a recent or distant past event - somehow we hope there will be a magic moment when click, the pain will magically disappear. In reality, it is a series of reductions, that we may not even notice at first. A slight lessening of the ache in our heart, a slight increase of joy at experiencing beauty - so subtle, it still feels like the original wound is as great, and as powerful, as it ever was.

If we seek to make sense of our learnings from the pain, over time, it changes from an open wound to a scar - a reminder of what once was, a reminder we survived, a reminder of one more element of wisdom we've accrued.

Every aspect of our experiences can teach us something - wisdom being preferable to wariness, authenticity being preferable to compliance, and firm boundaries being preferable to rigidity. The human experience leaves us vulnerable to what feels like the removal of oxygen, yet it's often an invitation to pause, re-gather and continue our quest with new insight.

The little boy hides within the body of a man

So many expectations of knowing who he is, how a man behaves, what he knows

He is confused

Where does this knowledge come from?

Who was supposed to teach him?

How does he learn to fit his skin?

The first tentative approach, combining courage and fear, yields results

He learns that faith exists, faith in others' abilities, faith in himself

As he continues to connect, stretch his protective layer out in the world

He learns that he is both unique and similar

We are all learning who and what we are every day, if we choose

And courage is the key to gaining his newfound wisdom

He can be seen

And be safe

And fall

And be vulnerable

And be kind

And be himself

We all deserve love, acceptance, trust, belonging. When we are not experiencing these with another, it is either about our non-expression of these for ourselves, or their unreadiness to embrace those qualities for themselves.

It's ok to move away, create space and send love from a distance. Space allows for creativity and discomfort - both can be useful in accessing inner wisdom - after all, their journey is theirs, and yours is yours. Pushing, pressuring, yearning - these can all disconnect us from the natural pace of the process. Time in the physical world is a construct created to establish order. In reality, we need to learn to flow, to wait, to observe and accept. When we find ourselves using activities or substances to distract ourselves from the discomfort, it can be more useful to turn within, and ask what would honour us in the discomfort. 

Which unhealed part is asking for attention, expression and love? When we connect, join and accept those parts of ourselves, we've unpacked one more layer on our road to perfect imperfection.

Acceptance - where does it come from? In order for it to exist, we have to have a way of sitting with discomfort, the unknown, situations we may never make sense of.

There is much we can't control - for some that creates a sense of helplessness, for others, an immense sense of freedom. 

What we can learn to control is our inner world, our narrative with the parts of ourselves that are scared, vulnerable and desperate for reassurance. Kindness and compassion for those parts settles them, and allows the space for a shift to observation without judgement, without grasping for answers. When we are accepting of all facets of ourselves, we are more able to accept what's happening outside of ourselves.

Look inside - what do you see and feel? Make friends with yourself. Shower yourself in love and compassion (as least as much as you give others, preferably more). What does the outside world look like now?