Recommended Reading

Please contact me if you have any particular recommendations that may be suitable for this page.

After the Affair | for working through the impact for both partners of an affair, and making decisions for your short, medium and long term future.

  • There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. "After the Affair" is the first book to help readers survive this crisis.

  • Written by a clinical psychologist, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

Beyond Words: Grieving when your child has died | "The death of a child is a heartfelt experience like no other. It is a deep grief experience that goes beyond words.

  • The loss affects bereaved parents emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and socially. It makes more demands on them than most others ever realise.

  • Many bereaved parents say that the only people who can ever genuinely begin to understand what it’s like for them are other bereaved parents. Hearing from others who have ‘been there’ can make all the difference. For this reason, Beyond Words is a handbook that features the honest words, perspectives and suggestions of many bereaved parents. It also offers useful information about managing grief, support options and ideas that may be helpful on the grief journey.

  • It is comforting, encouraging, informative and practical.

  • It will also provide understanding and insights to professionals and others seeking to effectively support bereaved parents.

  • If you are interested in this book, you may like to look at Death Without Warning which offers information and support after any kind of sudden or unexpected death."

Brene Brown has written a number of books about how courage creates a life worth living.

  • 287 titles exist in Book Depository alone. Check them out from the link above.

Death without Warning | "For individuals and families/whānau affected by any kind of sudden or unexpected death, including accidental death, natural sudden death, suicide, murder and the death of a baby or child.

  • This invaluable New Zealand handbook offers key information about events that happen after a death and people who may be involved. It contains information about trauma and grief and strategies for managing them. It includes information on supporting children and teens.

  • Included also are brief quotes from many New Zealanders who have experienced a sudden death. It will be a valuable up-to-date tool for professionals working alongside bereaved people and has been made possible by the support of ACC and FDANZ.

Do I have go Give Up ME to be Loved by You? | For couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships, it explores the delicate balance of being true to oneself and being loved by another.

  • This book can help couples anticipate and approach occasional or chronic conflict with compassion and creativity.

  • This classic text for couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships explores the delicate balance of being true to oneself and being loved by another. Newly updated by the authors, here is the classic text for couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships.

  • In their best-selling book about couple relationships, Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul explore the delicate balance of being true to oneself and being loved by another.

  • While couples think they are fighting about money, sex, or time, the authors reveal how such conflicts are almost always more deeply rooted and related to issues of self-protection. Offering a solid framework for conflict resolution, the authors guide couples in working through fears and false beliefs that can block the expression of loving feelings.

  • Stories of couples and examples of dialogue validate readers- feelings and experiences.

Easyway to Stop Smoking: Allen Carr’s Easyway To Stop Smoking is the world’s best-selling book on how to stop smoking, with over 13,000,000 copies sold in over 38 different languages.

  • Allen Carr's hundred-cigarettes-a-day addiction drove him to despair, but after countless attempts to quit he disovered what the world had been waiting for - the EASY WAY TO STOP SMOKING. Now recognised as the world's leading expert on helping smokers to quit, Allen Carr's informative, no scare tactics methods and techniques are a revelation for those desperate to kick the habit.

  • "The phenomenal classic that has changed the lives of millions of people around the globe". What are you afraid of? Public speaking; asserting yourself; making decisions; being alone; intimacy; changing jobs; interviews; going back to school; ageing; ill health; driving; dating; ending a relationship; losing a loved one; becoming a parent; leaving home, failure, believing in yourself...

  • Internationally renowned author Susan Jeffers has helped millions of people overcome their fears and heal the pain in their lives with her simple but profound advice. Whatever your anxieties, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway (R) will give you the insight and tools to vastly improve your ability to handle any given situation. You will learn to live your life the way you want - so you can move from a place of pain, paralysis, depression and indecision to one of power, energy, enthusiasm and action.

  • An empowering and life-affirming book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway will help you triumph over your fears and move forward with your life.

First, We Make the Beast Beautiful : A new story about anxiety: If you have anxiety, this book is for you. If you love someone who is anxious, this book is for you.

  • I Quit Sugar founder and New York Times bestselling author Sarah Wilson has lived through high anxiety - including bipolar, OCD and several suicide attempts - her whole life. Perhaps like you, she grew tired of seeing anxiety as a disease that must be medicated into submission. Could anxiety be re-sewn, she asked, into a thing of beauty?

  • So began a seven-year journey to find a more meaningful and helpful take on anxiety. Living out of two suitcases, Sarah travelled the world, meeting with His Holiness The Dalai Lama, with Oprah's life coach, with major mental health organizations and hundreds of others in a quest to unravel the knotted ball of wool that is the anxious condition. She emerged with the very best philosophy, science and hacks for thriving with the beast.

  • First, We Make the Beast Beautiful is a small book with a big heart, paving the way for richer, kinder and wiser conversations about anxiety.

The Highly Sensitive Person series: highly sensitive people (HSPs), who make up some 20 per cent of the population, are individuals who both enjoy and suffer from a finely tuned neurological system.

How to Control Your Anger, Anxiety and Depression: Using Nutrition and Physical Activity: Renata Taylor-Byrne and Jim Byrne have outlined key research findings on the relationship between diet and exercise, on the one hand, and the intensity of anger, anxiety and depression emotions on the other.

  • The book contains a list of foods that must be excluded to ensure optimal brain functioning and mood control. There is also a detailed consideration of a range of modern diets, with guidelines for developing a personalised diet; and the skills needed to change difficult dietary and exercise habits.

  • Renata Taylor-Byrne and Jim Byrne have outlined key research findings on the relationship between diet and exercise, on the one hand, and the intensity of anger, anxiety and depression emotions on the other. The book contains a list of foods that must be excluded to ensure optimal brain functioning and mood control. There is also a detailed consideration of a range of modern diets, with guidelines for developing a personalised diet; and the skills needed to change difficult dietary and exercise habits.

  • There are six parts to this book:

    • The first part deals with diet and nutrition and how they influence anxiety, anger and depression.

    • The second part of the book deals with physical exercise and how it can affect these common emotional problems.

    • The third part is a description of a 'stress and anxiety reduction' diet and offers guidelines for understanding different types of diets and their effects.

    • The fourth part shows some of the key findings from the science of nutritional deficiency, and the role of inflammation in the creation of depression.

    • The fifth part is a summing up of the key findings of the book, so that you can spot the most useful material that you can use for yourself - or for your clients, if you are a health-care or psychotherapeutic practitioner, counsellor or psychologist.

    • And the sixth part is our attempt to coach you through the process of habit change; and to give you a map to guide you through the process of accessing, learning and applying the transformative information in this book.

Innercise : The New Science to Unlock Your Brain's Hidden Power: In the 1950s and 1960s, Jack LaLanne revolutionized the physical fitness and health industry by promoting and teaching exercise and nutrition.

  • Today, we complete the fitness revolution with Innercise: a comprehensive guide to science-based mental and emotional techniques to strengthen your mindset and unleash the hidden power of your brain.

  • Lack of knowledge or skill is not what really holds you back. It is your mindset, emotional blocks, and deeply ingrained habits that you must release to clear the path to your greatest victories and successes. With Innercise, you'll learn to change your habitual patterns, and eliminate disempowering emotions like:

    • Fear of failure or success

    • Fear of being ashamed, embarrassed or judged

    • Low self-worth and self-esteem

    • Negativity and pessimism

    • Lack of confidence and certainty

    • Fear of disappointing yourself or others

  • Your limiting beliefs, stories, traumas and excuses are nothing more than reinforced subconscious patterns that cause you to think, feel, and consistently behave in ways that produce the same results again and again.

  • Now, cutting-edge technology and the science of neuroplasticity have finally unlocked the door to breaking free from these patterns. My hope in writing this book is that it will empower you to recognize and release whatever is holding you back from your fullest potential and the grandest vision for your life.

  • This book is for the individual who knows they are capable of achieving more wealth, greater health and business or career success yet for some reason, they haven't yet cracked the code to unlocking their fullest abilities and skills.

  • Innercise will help you understand how to master your inner game, so your outer game and results align with the internal vision you have for your life and family.

Lost Connections : Why You're Depressed and How to Find Hope: The New York Times bestseller from the author of Chasing the Scream, offering a radical new way of thinking about depression and anxiety.

  • There was a mystery haunting award-winning investigative journalist Johann Hari. He was thirty-nine years old, and almost every year he had been alive, depression and anxiety had increased in Britain and across the Western world. Why? He had a very personal reason to ask this question. When he was a teenager, he had gone to his doctor and explained that he felt like pain was leaking out of him, and he couldn't control it or understand it. Some of the solutions his doctor offered had given him some relief-but he remained in deep pain. So, as an adult, he went on a forty-thousand-mile journey across the world to interview the leading experts about what causes depression and anxiety, and what solves them. He learned there is scientific evidence for nine different causes of depression and anxiety-and that this knowledge leads to a very different set of solutions: ones that offer real hope.

Making Sense of Emotions (for children age 6-9): Making Sense of Emotions is a children's book based on understanding and coping with everyday life situations.

  • This book not only describes the link between all senses with our emotions, but also the importance of an overall good health. The goal is to help children appreciate the simple things in and around their lives, especially since we live in a world of technology. Readers will hopefully consider the control they have over their emotions by their thoughts and actions. Making Sense of Emotions is an informative book designed to provide a better understanding of one's self and how our surroundings impact the way we feel and think. Children have a great imagination; they just need a little help learning how to use it to their advantage.

  • There is also an audio book available for an older audience.

Mating in Captivity : Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

  • One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

  • Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

Mind Power into the 21st Century | In Mind Power Into the 21st Century, John Kehoe has articulated a set of life-changing principles for charting a course to success and happiness.

  • Mind Power Into the 21st Century presents the reader with a practical guide to harness the powers of your subconscious mind, tap into your creativity, build and maintain fulfilling relationships, and improve your self-image. Entertaining and informative, this is a must-read for anyone who truly wants to live life to its fullest.

No More Mr Nice Guy | to help men break the pattern of seeking approval as a motivation for their life decisions (and end the passive-aggressive pattern).

  • "Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential."

No Ordinary Moments, a story with incredible lessons on self discovery through adversity.

  • "Every day, we face challenges in relationships, sexuality, money, work, and health. While there is a wealth of information and advice available on all of these subjects, we still have trouble turning knowing into doing.

  • Here, Dan Millman presents a peaceful warrior's way to turn our intentions into action, our challenges into strength, and our life experiences into wisdom. Based on the premise that by changing ourselves we can change the world, No Ordinary Moments presents simple yet powerful ways to balance our body, liberate our mind, accept our emotions, and open our heart."

Outrageous Openness | "A playful, enlightening, and creative collection (Spirituality and Practice) of spiritual lessons, anecdotes, and thoughts on the Divine's intervention in our lives, this brilliantly written and wonderfully entertaining book teaches us how to live purposefully and in line with the Force of Love.

  • "What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually is a Supreme Organizing Principle with an unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?" Whether we know it or not, we all experience the touch of the Divine in our lives every single day.

  • After twenty-five years spent consulting and advising tens of thousands of people from all over the world, Tosha Silver realized that almost all of us have similar concerns: "How do I stop worrying? How can I feel safe? Why do I feel so alone?" and often, "Who am I really?" For the passionately spiritual and the bemusedly skeptical alike, she created Outrageous Openness.

  • This delightful book, filled with wisdom and fresh perspectives, helps create a relaxed, trusting openness in the reader to discover answers to life's big questions as they spontaneously arise. Outrageous Openness opens the door to a profound truth: By allowing the Divine to lead the way, we can finally put down the heavy load of hopes, fears, and opinions about how things should be. We learn how to be guided to take the right actions at the right time, and to enjoy the spectacular show that is our life.

Self esteem improvement | a number of options at this search; see what resonates with you.


  • Is your heart fluttering in anticipation? Is your stomach tight with nerves? Are you falling in love? Feeling a bit miffed? Are you curious (perhaps about this book)? Do you have the heebie-jeebies? Are you antsy with iktsuarpok? Or giddy with depaysement?

  • The Book of Human Emotions is a gleeful, thoughtful collection of 156 feelings, both rare and familiar. Each has its own story, and reveals the strange forces which shape our rich and varied internal worlds. In reading it, you'll discover feelings you never knew you had (like basorexia, the sudden urge to kiss someone), uncover the secret histories of boredom and confidence, and gain unexpected insights into why we feel the way we do.

The Broken Road - A Mother's Journey | the story of a New Zealand woman supporting her daughter through sexual abuse at the hands of her best friend's husband.

  • Based on the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages(R)(over 12 million copies sold).

  • Dramatically improve workplace relationships simply by learning your coworkers' language of appreciation.

  • This book will give you the tools to improve staff morale, create a more positive workplace, and increase employee engagement. How? By teaching you to effectively communicate authentic appreciation and encouragement to employees, co-workers, and leaders. Most relational problems in organizations flow from this question: do people feel appreciated? This book will help you answer "Yes!"

  • A bestseller--having sold over 300,000 copies and translated into 16 languages--this book has proven to be effective and valuable in diverse settings. Its principles about human behavior have helped businesses, non-profits, hospitals, schools, government agencies, and organizations with remote workers.

  • PLUS! Each book contains a free access code for taking the online Motivating By Appreciation (MBA) Inventory (does not apply to purchases of used books). The assessment identifies a person's preferred languages of appreciation to help you apply the book. When supervisors and colleagues understand their coworkers' primary and secondary languages, as well as the specific actions they desire, they can effectively communicate authentic appreciation, thus creating healthy work relationships and raising the level of performance across an entire team or organization.

  • Take your team to the next level by applying The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.

  • He didn't mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn't matter.

  • In the nursery, only the toys that are old and wise truly understand what it means to be Real. The Velveteen Rabbit, a newcomer to the nursery, asks one of the most knowledgeable toys, the Skin Horse, what being Real means. And so begins the Velveteen Rabbit's journey towards becoming real - through the love of a child ...

  • Margery Williams' timeless picture book classic has been read and cherished by many generations of children and their parents and is now available in this beautiful hardback edition.

  • Brought to life by gorgeous and much-loved classic illustrations by William Nicholson, with a new foiled cover design, this is a wonderful keepsake gift to treasure and share.

The Velveteen Principles | based on The Velveteen Rabbit - a lovely, gentle introduction to self awareness and living authentically.

  • In The Velveteen Principles, psychotherapist Toni D'Antonio laid out the 12 principles she learned about how to live an authentic life from the classic children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit. The timeless advice, compelling anecdotes and friendly, encouraging voice immediately struck a chord with thousands of readers and made the book a surprise hit in 2004.

  • This limited edition holiday release is a celebration of renewal and living a life that is true to one's aspirations. This beautiful gift book will be treasured for holidays to come.

The Winner's Bible - rewire your brain for permanent change.

  • The Winner's Bible shows you how to permanently rewire your brain and transform your life using the same groundbreaking tools neuroscientist Dr Kerry Spackman customized for elite athletes, Olympic champions and businesspeople. When he was asked by a top Formula 1 team to help a champion driver who was struggling, despite having been treated by some of the best Sports Psychologists, Psychotherapists and Counsellors available, Dr Spackman quickly realised a new approach was needed. this approach was so successful, he was soon swamped by demand. the only solution was to write his tools and techniques down in a single, easy to read book so that everyone could have access to the same tools the World Champions had. the Winner's Bible is a riveting read filled with real life examples you'll never forget. Dr Spackman shows you how to "Rewire your Brain for Permanent Change". He explains why most self-help books don't work and why his program does. the proof of his tools is demonstrated in the lives of the people he's changed. A fully revised and updated edition.

Through the Eyes of a Foster Child | Daryl Brougham's story of more than 30 foster homes in New Zealand.

  • Best-selling book on a young man's traumatic childhood in foster care. Sold over 4,000 copies in Australia and New Zealand in its first four months. In 1990, at the age of ten, Daryl Brougham was told by a social worker he was useless and would end up in jail. By 1997, he had attended 27 schools, been through over 30 social workers and lived in more than 30 different foster homes. During his 18 years as a state ward he suffered repeated sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse. Rising above all the abuse, Daryl proved that social worker wrong. A quality New Zealand book.

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay | a step by step guide to help you decide whether to stay in or get out of your relationship.

  • There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try--or if you need to go. Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: - What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable?

    • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?

    • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?

    • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?

  • Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line--what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship--and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.