Recommended Reading

Please contact me if you have any particular recommendations that may be suitable for this page.

  1. After the Affair | for working through the impact for both partners of an affair, and making decisions for your short, medium and long term future.

  2. Beyond Words: Grieving when your child has died | "The death of a child is a heartfelt experience like no other. It is a deep grief experience that goes beyond words.

    • The loss affects bereaved parents emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and socially. It makes more demands on them than most others ever realise.

    • Many bereaved parents say that the only people who can ever genuinely begin to understand what it’s like for them are other bereaved parents. Hearing from others who have ‘been there’ can make all the difference. For this reason, Beyond Words is a handbook that features the honest words, perspectives and suggestions of many bereaved parents. It also offers useful information about managing grief, support options and ideas that may be helpful on the grief journey.

    • It is comforting, encouraging, informative and practical.

    • It will also provide understanding and insights to professionals and others seeking to effectively support bereaved parents.

    • If you are interested in this book, you may like to look at Death Without Warning which offers information and support after any kind of sudden or unexpected death."

  3. Brene Brown has written a number of books about how courage creates a life worth living.

  4. Death without Warning | "For individuals and families/whānau affected by any kind of sudden or unexpected death, including accidental death, natural sudden death, suicide, murder and the death of a baby or child.

    • This invaluable New Zealand handbook offers key information about events that happen after a death and people who may be involved. It contains information about trauma and grief and strategies for managing them. It includes information on supporting children and teens.

    • Included also are brief quotes from many New Zealanders who have experienced a sudden death. It will be a valuable up-to-date tool for professionals working alongside bereaved people and has been made possible by the support of ACC and FDANZ.

  5. Do I have go Give Up ME to be Loved by You? | For couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships, it explores the delicate balance of being true to oneself and being loved by another.

  6. Easyway to Stop Smoking: Allen Carr’s Easyway To Stop Smoking is the world’s best-selling book on how to stop smoking, with over 13,000,000 copies sold in over 38 different languages. It explains in common-sense language how to free yourself from the ‘nicotine trap’ without having to use willpower, without gaining weight and without any withdrawal pangs.

  7. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway | a classic

    • "The phenomenal classic that has changed the lives of millions of people around the globe". What are you afraid of? Public speaking; asserting yourself; making decisions; being alone; intimacy; changing jobs; interviews; going back to school; ageing; ill health; driving; dating; ending a relationship; losing a loved one; becoming a parent; leaving home, failure, believing in yourself...

    • Internationally renowned author Susan Jeffers has helped millions of people overcome their fears and heal the pain in their lives with her simple but profound advice. Whatever your anxieties, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway (R) will give you the insight and tools to vastly improve your ability to handle any given situation. You will learn to live your life the way you want - so you can move from a place of pain, paralysis, depression and indecision to one of power, energy, enthusiasm and action.

    • An empowering and life-affirming book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway will help you triumph over your fears and move forward with your life.

  8. First, We Make the Beast Beautiful : A new story about anxiety: If you have anxiety, this book is for you. If you love someone who is anxious, this book is for you.

    • I Quit Sugar founder and New York Times bestselling author Sarah Wilson has lived through high anxiety - including bipolar, OCD and several suicide attempts - her whole life. Perhaps like you, she grew tired of seeing anxiety as a disease that must be medicated into submission. Could anxiety be re-sewn, she asked, into a thing of beauty?

    • So began a seven-year journey to find a more meaningful and helpful take on anxiety. Living out of two suitcases, Sarah travelled the world, meeting with His Holiness The Dalai Lama, with Oprah's life coach, with major mental health organizations and hundreds of others in a quest to unravel the knotted ball of wool that is the anxious condition. She emerged with the very best philosophy, science and hacks for thriving with the beast.

    • First, We Make the Beast Beautiful is a small book with a big heart, paving the way for richer, kinder and wiser conversations about anxiety.

  9. The Highly Sensitive Person series: highly sensitive people (HSPs), who make up some 20 per cent of the population, are individuals who both enjoy and suffer from a finely tuned neurological system. This condition can be a gift, but until HSPs master their sensitive nervous systems, they operate in a constant state of over stimulation.

  10. How to Control Your Anger, Anxiety and Depression: Using Nutrition and Physical Activity: Renata Taylor-Byrne and Jim Byrne have outlined key research findings on the relationship between diet and exercise, on the one hand, and the intensity of anger, anxiety and depression emotions on the other. The book contains a list of foods that must be excluded to ensure optimal brain functioning and mood control. There is also a detailed consideration of a range of modern diets, with guidelines for developing a personalised diet; and the skills needed to change difficult dietary and exercise habits.

  11. Innercise : The New Science to Unlock Your Brain's Hidden Power: In the 1950s and 1960s, Jack LaLanne revolutionized the physical fitness and health industry by promoting and teaching exercise and nutrition.

    • Today, we complete the fitness revolution with Innercise: a comprehensive guide to science-based mental and emotional techniques to strengthen your mindset and unleash the hidden power of your brain.

    • Lack of knowledge or skill is not what really holds you back. It is your mindset, emotional blocks, and deeply ingrained habits that you must release to clear the path to your greatest victories and successes. With Innercise, you'll learn to change your habitual patterns, and eliminate disempowering emotions like:

      1. Fear of failure or success

      2. Fear of being ashamed, embarrassed or judged

      3. Low self-worth and self-esteem

      4. Negativity and pessimism

      5. Lack of confidence and certainty

      6. Fear of disappointing yourself or others

    • Your limiting beliefs, stories, traumas and excuses are nothing more than reinforced subconscious patterns that cause you to think, feel, and consistently behave in ways that produce the same results again and again.

    • Now, cutting-edge technology and the science of neuroplasticity have finally unlocked the door to breaking free from these patterns. My hope in writing this book is that it will empower you to recognize and release whatever is holding you back from your fullest potential and the grandest vision for your life.

    • This book is for the individual who knows they are capable of achieving more wealth, greater health and business or career success yet for some reason, they haven't yet cracked the code to unlocking their fullest abilities and skills.

    • Innercise will help you understand how to master your inner game, so your outer game and results align with the internal vision you have for your life and family.

  12. Lost Connections : Why You're Depressed and How to Find Hope: The New York Times bestseller from the author of Chasing the Scream, offering a radical new way of thinking about depression and anxiety. There was a mystery haunting award-winning investigative journalist Johann Hari. He was thirty-nine years old, and almost every year he had been alive, depression and anxiety had increased in Britain and across the Western world. Why? He had a very personal reason to ask this question. When he was a teenager, he had gone to his doctor and explained that he felt like pain was leaking out of him, and he couldn't control it or understand it. Some of the solutions his doctor offered had given him some relief-but he remained in deep pain. So, as an adult, he went on a forty-thousand-mile journey across the world to interview the leading experts about what causes depression and anxiety, and what solves them. He learned there is scientific evidence for nine different causes of depression and anxiety-and that this knowledge leads to a very different set of solutions: ones that offer real hope.

  13. Making Sense of Emotions (for children age 6-9): Making Sense of Emotions is a children's book based on understanding and coping with everyday life situations. This book not only describes the link between all senses with our emotions, but also the importance of an overall good health. The goal is to help children appreciate the simple things in and around their lives, especially since we live in a world of technology. Readers will hopefully consider the control they have over their emotions by their thoughts and actions. Making Sense of Emotions is an informative book designed to provide a better understanding of one's self and how our surroundings impact the way we feel and think. Children have a great imagination; they just need a little help learning how to use it to their advantage.

    • There is also an audio book available for an older audience.

  14. Mating in Captivity : Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

    • One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

    • Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

  15. Mind Power into the 21st Century | In Mind Power Into the 21st Century, John Kehoe has articulated a set of life-changing principles for charting a course to success and happiness. Mind Power Into the 21st Century presents the reader with a practical guide to harness the powers of your subconscious mind, tap into your creativity, build and maintain fulfilling relationships, and improve your self-image. Entertaining and informative, this is a must-read for anyone who truly wants to live life to its fullest.

  16. No More Mr Nice Guy | to help men break the pattern of seeking approval as a motivation for their life decisions (and end the passive-aggressive pattern).

    • "Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential."

  17. No Ordinary Moments, a story with incredible lessons on self discovery through adversity.

    • "Every day, we face challenges in relationships, sexuality, money, work, and health. While there is a wealth of information and advice available on all of these subjects, we still have trouble turning knowing into doing.

    • Here, Dan Millman presents a peaceful warrior's way to turn our intentions into action, our challenges into strength, and our life experiences into wisdom. Based on the premise that by changing ourselves we can change the world, No Ordinary Moments presents simple yet powerful ways to balance our body, liberate our mind, accept our emotions, and open our heart. "

  18. Outrageous Openness | "A playful, enlightening, and creative collection (Spirituality and Practice) of spiritual lessons, anecdotes, and thoughts on the Divine's intervention in our lives, this brilliantly written and wonderfully entertaining book teaches us how to live purposefully and in line with the Force of Love. "What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually is a Supreme Organizing Principle with an unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?" Whether we know it or not, we all experience the touch of the Divine in our lives every single day. After twenty-five years spent consulting and advising tens of thousands of people from all over the world, Tosha Silver realized that almost all of us have similar concerns: "How do I stop worrying? How can I feel safe? Why do I feel so alone?" and often, "Who am I really?" For the passionately spiritual and the bemusedly skeptical alike, she created Outrageous Openness. This delightful book, filled with wisdom and fresh perspectives, helps create a relaxed, trusting openness in the reader to discover answers to life's big questions as they spontaneously arise. Outrageous Openness opens the door to a profound truth: By allowing the Divine to lead the way, we can finally put down the heavy load of hopes, fears, and opinions about how things should be. We learn how to be guided to take the right actions at the right time, and to enjoy the spectacular show that is our life.

  19. Self esteem improvement | a number of options at this search; see what resonates with you.

  20. The Book of Human Emotions : An Encyclopedia of Feeling from Anger to Wanderlust: Is your heart fluttering in anticipation? Is your stomach tight with nerves? Are you falling in love? Feeling a bit miffed? Are you curious (perhaps about this book)? Do you have the heebie-jeebies? Are you antsy with iktsuarpok? Or giddy with depaysement?

    • The Book of Human Emotions is a gleeful, thoughtful collection of 156 feelings, both rare and familiar. Each has its own story, and reveals the strange forces which shape our rich and varied internal worlds. In reading it, you'll discover feelings you never knew you had (like basorexia, the sudden urge to kiss someone), uncover the secret histories of boredom and confidence, and gain unexpected insights into why we feel the way we do.

  21. The Broken Road - A Mother's Journey | the story of a New Zealand woman supporting her daughter through sexual abuse at the hands of her best friend's husband.

  22. The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace - Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People | from the 5 Love Languages world - the workplace manual.

  23. The Velveteen Rabbit | available all over, including www.fishpond.co.nz and www.mightyape.co.nz.

    • "He didn't mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn't matter.

    • In the nursery, only the toys that are old and wise truly understand what it means to be Real. The Velveteen Rabbit, a newcomer to the nursery, asks one of the most knowledgeable toys, the Skin Horse, what being Real means. And so begins the Velveteen Rabbit's journey towards becoming real - through the love of a child ...

    • Margery Williams' timeless picture book classic has been read and cherished by many generations of children and their parents and is now available in this beautiful hardback edition.

    • Brought to life by gorgeous and much-loved classic illustrations by William Nicholson, with a new foiled cover design, this is a wonderful keepsake gift to treasure and share."

  24. The Velveteen Principles | based on The Velveteen Rabbit - a lovely, gentle introduction to self awareness and living authentically.

    • "In The Velveteen Principles, psychotherapist Toni D'Antonio laid out the 12 principles she learned about how to live an authentic life from the classic children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit. The timeless advice, compelling anecdotes and friendly, encouraging voice immediately struck a chord with thousands of readers and made the book a surprise hit in 2004.

  25. The Winner's Bible - rewire your brain for permanent change.

    • "Formula 1 Cognitive Neuroscientist Dr Spackman explains, with fascinating examples taken from real life, the tools he developed to transform the performance of world class athletes and corporate executives.

    • The Winner's Bible is rooted in proven scientific research and a riveting read that will show you how to rise above your natural limits."

  26. Through the Eyes of a Foster Child | Daryl Brougham's story of more than 30 foster homes in New Zealand. He has written it to help people understand what the experiences are like for foster children.

  27. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay | a step by step guide to help you decide whether to stay in or get out of your relationship.